Stories to Tell... Kim's Blog
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9/6/2017 0 Comments Why am I teacher?Why did I become a teacher? According to Wikipedia, ‘a teacher (also called a school teacher or, in some contexts, an educator) is a person who helps others to acquire knowledge, competences or values.’ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teacher And the definition of teacher according to the Merrian-Webster Dictionary is ‘one that teaches; especially : one whose occupation is to instruct.’ https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/teacher While further down this same page, the definition of teacher was stated as ‘a person who passes on information or skill’.
My definition of ‘teacher’ begins the same as the last definition above, ‘a person who passes on information or skill.’ Within this simple definition I add pieces that vary for different teaching positions. I believe that a teacher is a person who has chosen to spend their time giving another person (student) information, skill, or technique, in which they have perfected or experienced first, in order to allow the student to become the best person they can be in every moment of their life. Information, skill, and/or technique are defined based on the situation of the teacher/student and include but not limited to school teacher/student; parent/child; clergy/congregation; Guru/apprentice situations. Teaching is also not limited to being in a specific place in order to teach the information. Teaching can occur in such places as a school, a church, a spiritual class, a home, or a dance studio, etc. I add time to my definition depending on the situation of the teacher/student scenarios and therefore it is defined differently in each case. Each teacher/student situation can have different time limits or no time limits at all. School teachers, for example, only get 180 days a year to successfully pass their information onto their students before their students are moved to the next grade. Whether or not they have successfully learned the information or skill is currently dependent on final grades at the conclusion of the school year. So, for me, it is up to the individual teacher to determine how much time in that 180 day period they need to provide in order for their student(s) to learn what it is that they are teaching. It is not about making sure a 42 minute lunch was taken or a 42 minute prep period was used wisely or that the teaching start and end on a bell. For me, it’s about using the time you have to make a difference in that student’s life. The parent/child scenario, like the school teacher/student scenario has a limited time to pass on to their child the information or skill they are experts in. While it feels like forever, 365 days a year, for possibly 18+ years can go by very quickly. So making the most of those years can be very satisfying when the child graduates from high school, then college, then maybe a post graduate college and finally landing a job. And then you look back and smile because your efforts (time) in teaching them are rewarded. Clergy don’t just get an hour on the weekend to teach the congregation the teachings of their Holy books. They provide teachings every day, every week, every year. So for them the time frame would solely be dependent on the congregation. The Guru keeps teaching, knowing that when the apprentice makes decisions in their life based on the well-being of others, they will in turn become a Guru themselves and begin the teaching process over with another student, and so on goes the teachings of a Guru, limitless time. My definition of teacher isn’t for the faint of heart or the person who only took a teaching profession for the ‘time-off’ they get throughout the year. It isn’t for the person who only works within the confines of a ‘contract’. Or for the person who feels this was the only profession they had a choice to make. My definition is an inner voice that has always wanted to share their wisdom, knowledge and/or skill with another person so they can be the best person they can be. Early on in life, I ‘taught’ my friends to play the piano, how to braid hair, how to perm their own hair, how to color their hair. I ‘taught’ new cheerleaders the chants and dances for the games. I ‘taught’ campers to be good citizens during 4-H camp. I ‘taught’ a group of girl scouts how to wrap a package perfect for a badge. I seemed to always be the one they came to, to learn what I was already doing. And so I ‘taught’ them all. Without thinking, I was teaching, even back then. My Dad was a middle school teacher, an industrial arts teacher, and a Head High School Football Coach. He was dictatorial in his teachings, black and white, no grey areas when it came to education or football. Being educated in the 70’s and my Dad being an industrial arts teacher, I remember my teachers telling me that my Dad made their wooden paddles that hung on the wall, some solid, some with holes, some long, some short and some wide or thin. The ‘fear’ of the paddle being used was my deterrent to never cross the proverbial line of good and bad. I witnessed others who crossed that line and wondered if there wasn’t a different way. I also knew in that moment, I didn’t want to ever be ‘classroom teacher’; someone who I perceived had to discipline a large number of unruly students at once. For me, in middle school, that was unimaginable. It was also in middle-school that we were given the opportunity to have two days on which the last period of the day was a choice period. I took sign-language every time I could. I was in awe of the possibilities of opening the world of language to those who couldn’t hear it. Signing was beautiful and I wanted to teach others how to sign when I got older. Within my middle school years, I also experienced a situation where two boys ‘taught’ a special-needs student how to go up to girls and push them in the chest while at the same time squeezing their boobs. I remember grabbing this student’s wrists and telling him, “No! Who told you to do that?” He of course was laughing, thinking it was funny. I told him it was wrong and to never do it again. I felt so bad for Freddy, as he was a victim of Barry and Mike, and it was in that moment I knew I would somehow teach special needs students to know right from wrong so they would never be persuaded to do awful things like Freddy did. Now I had two ‘careers’ I wanted to pursue, sign-language and special needs students. In high school we took an occupation test. Answering questions about your likes, dislikes and skill sets that would compute into the best occupations that suited the answers provided. My occupations came out to be; teacher, actor, writer and others in the fine arts category. I liked acting; I don’t mind writing; but I did not want to be a ‘school-teacher’. I did not want to follow my dad’s profession, nor did I want to handle a classroom full of students who didn’t want to be there, nor did I want the salary. We weren’t poor, we were just not as well off as the girls I was hanging out with. On career day booths were set up in the gym with a variety of people who talked about their occupations. Instead of gym that day, we walked around the booths and talked to those we were interested in. And that’s where I found the Speech-Language Pathology table. I saw a sign-language book on the table as well as brochures for special education schools and hospital clinics. The salary for this profession was something I thought was great and they were not school teachers. I knew at that moment I would become a Speech-Language Pathologist. I researched colleges, sent my applications in and went to East Stroudsburg University. My first two years at ESU, I had to observe speech therapy in the hospital setting, the private, special education school setting, a private practice setting and the public school setting. While I liked the one-on-one teachings of the hospital, special education school and the private practice settings I was intrigued the most by the public school setting. I would be specialized within the school and only have one to three students at a time. My students would be across grade levels and change every half hour. I could make a difference with special needs students and at that time of my life, not be a ‘school teacher’ like my dad. The weekends, holidays, possible snow days and summers off were also amazing perks that pushed me into the school-based speech language correctionist degree program. My Dad and I had many discussions on why I thought I wasn’t going to be a ‘teacher’ but a ‘specialist’ within the school setting. He taught me my first definition of being a teacher. He said, “Regardless of where your desk is or how many students you have at one time, you still only get 180 days every year, to make a difference in those students’ lives and to teach them all you need to in order for them to become the best they can be for that year. Teaching them how to be decent human beings on top of the skills you are required to teach them every year is the same goal within the school system whether you are a classroom teacher, a speech therapist, a school nurse, a cafeteria worker or the custodian. Each and every person in the school must ‘teach’ and are ‘teachers’ for those students.” My first job was in West Milford Middle School. My caseload was predominantly special-needs, self-contained students, with Down's syndrome, mild autism, and cognitively delayed classifications. I had a few articulation students, some general language students, no stutterers, no voice disorders and sadly, no deaf students. I LOVED my job!!! I loved coming to school everyday, I loved making a difference, I loved seeing different students every half hour, I loved my paycheck, I loved being done while it was still daylight (my mom was a nurse and so her hours were long and lasted all year, a few weekends and occasionally an on-call holiday) and I loved snow days, weekends off and of course the summer off. But most of all, I loved working with students. My second job in Totowa was different. They did not have a special-needs class like West Milford did. I had more articulation students, resource language students, one stutterer, ESL students and one voice disordered student. Another difference was my school responsibilities. In West Milford, I showed up, worked with my students, left for the day, repeat. In Totowa, I had two schools, elementary and middle school which I had to travel between, I was a member of the Child Study Team, which met weekly to discuss students, I was given ‘teacher’ duties for morning, lunch or closing supervision and I now had to see my middle school students 42 minutes each instead of 30. I still loved it, I loved helping students become better at something than they were previously. I also enjoyed teaching the rules for social skills on my duties to students who were not on my caseload. This experience was also a student experience for me, I was being taught the ins and outs of the CST, I was learning how to write IEP’s and being involved in my students’ lives beyond the school day. I became a student again within my role as a speech language specialist. It was a great experience. I also learned at this time that I was better with elementary students than I was with secondary students. My third and current job landed me in Wharton. Very similar duties as Totowa so the transition was easy. Additionally in Wharton, I was given language classes for the self-contained classrooms, and the kindergarten classrooms. UH OH!!!!! I never wanted to be a classroom teacher, and now here I was in a classroom teaching 8 - 17 students for 42 minutes. What I thought I never wanted, was now a daily occurrence for me. One language class a day and I loved it!!! My students were like sponges, they soaked up all the vocabulary I could provide them. I really had no discipline difficulties with them. Either the teacher handled the student misbehaving, or I was consistent in my discipline so other students didn’t do the same behavior or it was just a different time, different students, different behaviors. I made peace with my aversion of being a ‘classroom teacher’ and embraced just being a person who passes on information and skill to another person. Language classes have since been removed from my workload. After I got married and started having children (students) of my own. A whole new definition of ‘teacher’ came forward for me. By now, discipline was a BIG topic of discussion in society. More people had access to news, and more stories were being revealed on the disciplinary abuse of some teachers, parents, and bosses. Society was only providing these extreme cases of abuse. They weren’t portraying the good discipline stories, the behavioral management stories or the cause/effect discipline stories, only the abusive ones. Here I was, a new parent trying to navigate through the discipline arena between my own personal parent/child experiences of discipline growing up, the school teacher/student discipline and what I wanted for my own children, all the while under the microscope of society. In another discussion between my Dad and I he said, “There are great teachers and there are great parents, they are either a great teacher and a lousy parent or they are a great parent and a lousy teacher; rarely are they great in both.” I wanted to be great in both. Teaching 180 days to a group of 50+ students a year while teaching 365 days to 3 children for 18+ years, being the same teacher in both, is both rewarding and tiresome at the same time. I believe I make a difference with my students every year, helping to overcome their stuttering, improving their language skills, correcting their articulation and in others increasing their social skills. I believe I make a difference with my own children every day helping them choose between right and wrong, how to speak their truths, believe in themselves, and reach their own personal goals. As of today, I am confident that I have been great in both. I began my spiritual journey around middle school. I remember listening to the homilies in church and the stories in CCD and thinking..."this can't be right!" I have always been fascinated with fortune tellers; psychics; gypsies; astronomy; horoscopes, etc. I came across an Angel class around 1997, being held in West Milford at their night school and my friend and I sent our money in to attend. This class turned out to be the first of many, many classes on my spiritual journey. My teacher, Ida Diaz, was so enlightened!!! She emanated love and light from the first time she smiled at us. I have taken every course Ida has offered and so proud to be a descendent Reiki Master from her Reiki Master Line. I passed my 13th level Light Therapy class around 2015. And now, I could 'teach' others how to walk along their life's paths as well... Looking back over my life, I have also passed on my knowledge of computers to others. I ‘taught’ children how to swim. I ‘taught’ my children how to drive a car. I’ve ‘taught’ my daughter how to knit. I ‘taught’ my niece and nephew how to bake cookies and I’ve taught two students with dyslexia how to read. I further ‘teach’ others how to be one with themselves in perfect harmony, along their spiritual quest. It appears as if I have always been a ‘teacher’ in some capacity throughout my life. Passing my knowledge, information, skill and/or technique onto others is a deep connecting passion for me. Why did I become a teacher? Did I choose to become a teacher or was I destined to become a teacher? My truth, as I know it today, is that, I AM a teacher. Teacher is my soul’s occupation. I teach beyond the school/student scenario. Even when I retire from the school teaching occupation, I know I will still be teaching. I embrace it, enjoy it and look forward to doing it. May my teachings always benefit others!!
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2/25/2015 0 Comments Choice MakingSo…choices…we have the ability to make them. Some make good choices and some not so good choices. With every choice we make there is a consequence to the choice. Good, bad, indifferent or nothing, are all potential outcomes of every choice we make, every moment, of every day. That sounds like a lot of choice making in one day and perhaps you may feel like there’s no way you’ll be able to make that many choices. Relax; we make choices in moments we don’t even think are choice making moments. For instance, our parents chose to teach us morning hygiene routines. They could just have easily showed us nothing and hoped that we would eventually get out of bed, go to the bathroom, brush our teeth, wash our faces, get dressed, and get ready for the day. For some of you that may include eating breakfast, drinking coffee, reading a newspaper or simply just putting on your coat and going to work. Because this choice was repeated everyday for years, it has become a routine, therefore you don’t think about making a choice when your alarm goes off (unless it’s Saturday or Sunday). And yes, there are those days when you could think, ‘Do I really want to get up today?’ And then there would be a choice to make. I am fascinated by the choice making decisions we make when we become conscience of the ability to make a choice. It’s in those moments that we become co-creators in the outcomes of those choices with the Universe.
Making feel-good choices versus feel-rotten choices takes practice, but the more you become aware the easier it becomes. I would guess that most of us make the feel-rotten choices most of the time. Misery does love company. I have been practicing making feel-good choices what seams like forever, but really has only been about 5 years. I’ve read Dr. Dwyer’s and Eckard Tolle’s books in which they discuss the topic of being in the moment, fully aware. Today was a grand example of being fully present in every moment and choosing feel-good choices versus feel-rotten choices and their consequences. Sitting here attempting to put my experience into words, I realize that this discussion may bring up a many topics for and against choice making. It is not my intention to persuade you into making similar choices as I have made or to give anyone the sense that they aren’t making the right choices for themselves. This is simply my outcome of the choice to be aware in the events that I experienced today. I am sharing this experience in the hopes that I may spark something within you that pushes you to becoming aware of your choices and the subsequent consequences in your moments. This morning, I was running a tad behind schedule. I wanted to wear a sweater that my Grandmother knit, but I was having a difficult time choosing a color turtleneck to go under it. When I finally chose the color I liked and attempted to finish my morning routine, I was driving to school and realized I wasn’t in the ‘safe’ time zone to get to work without delay. I would now have to contend with traffic, traffic lights and bus routes. Taking that initial breathe to remind myself that I’m exactly where I’m suppose to be at this moment, because of the choice I made not to like the first colored shirt I pulled out, I let go of the feelings of ‘late’. It didn’t matter that I missed the green light and had to wait for the next one. I was truly okay sitting and waiting. Then I came upon the first bus stop route. There in front of me were the blinking red lights and extended stop sign. Breathe, was my mantra, it will all work out. I chose to enjoy my coffee, which made me think that I needed more creamer for the week and I planned my afternoon to stop and pick up more. Following the bus to the next stop, blinking lights, extended stop sign, wait…but wait, no children!!!! This was a high school stop with typically 4-5 students waiting for the bus…NONE! The bus driver didn’t even wait, within 60 seconds, the extended stop sign pulled in and the blinking lights went out. WOW, I think, thank you students for not going to school today! I knew I would be able to make up some lost time on my travels when the bus takes its next right turn…sure enough, the bus turned right and so did the three cars in front of me. I could have just as easily chosen to panic and worry and become irritated that I wasn’t in the ‘safe’ time-zone when I left, but I chose to accept it and here was the consequence of my acceptance – I was now free to travel the road at 45 miles per hour instead of 35 miles per hour. (shh, don’t tell the local police…LOL) Looking at the clock later, I was back on track, I made it to school without a hitch. Pulled into the parking lot and WHAT? Someone was parked in the space behind my parking spot. (It’s not really mine per say, its just the one I always park in, have always parked in. Not too close so I get those extra steps in for health; not to far that I’m sweating before the day begins; just right for me) Our lot is set up like stadium parking, so you can pulled through to the first space so no one has to back up, nor do you have to park head-to-head, which would then require backing out of the space to go home. Now mind you, it’s 7:30ish in the morning so there are numerous parking spots open surrounding this person’s already parked car. I could have made the choice to back into my spot but he was literally over the space line a good foot with the front end of his car. So I just pulled forward into the fourth space and took a breath and made the choice, it was all okay, it’s just a space. I was prepared that my day could in fact be full of changeable moments, but I was going to actively be aware of every moment and chose to handle them with feel-good choices. The person was still in the car when I parked and got out at the same time I did. We walked together into the school and I realized that I needed to let him in the building because he didn’t have his electronic device with him to open the door. And yes, I chose to be kind and polite to this person that attempted to throw a monkey wrench into my day. (He wouldn’t have even understood what he did.) My morning went off without any incident, I was able to prepare for the day and didn’t feel rushed. I am part of a Team that meets every Wednesday to which I happen to sit in the same seat every time. This first meeting I was in my seat, not agreeing with the outcome of the meeting but making choices to stay calm and keep my voice even. I made the choice to continue rehashing my point of the meeting long after the meeting, which was a feel-rotten choice because I was becoming agitated. The consequence of this choice was at the second meeting, someone was sitting in my seat…clearly, my ‘stuff’ was in that seat, but as the Universe happens, this person was sitting there anyway. I immediately realized I could chose to continue being agitated, now for a new issue, or simply, breathe, and chose to sit in a different seat and be happy about it. And that’s what I did. I went about the rest of the morning meetings without incident. Walking into my last meeting of the day, my seat was once again taken by someone else. I didn’t even flinch in my choice to sit in a different seat. The seat I chose was a cushioned seat, and I was okay with it. I had to make small adjustments for my ‘stuff’ in this different location, but I was doing well. Leave it up to the chairman of this meeting to point out that my seat was taken and sarcastically ask how long it would take until I said something…to which I laughed and proudly announced that I was prepared since this morning that change would be occurring around me today because of my parking space being taken. Everyone gave their quick thoughts on their own personal ‘space’ and how it does and does not affect them. One person asked me why I didn’t ask the person in the car to just move forward. Again, that could have been a choice to make, but for me, the consequence would have been me feeling pushy or entitled, I’m mean really, there were 15+ open spaces in the parking lot, to have made them move up would have been close to obsessive compulsive for me and I didn’t even go there. My only choices at that moment were A) park somewhere else and be okay with it; or B) park somewhere else and be agitated by it; or C) back-up into the space and have my front end sticking out because they were over the line and then being agitated or worried my front end would be hit because it stuck out (choice (C) was close to obsessive-compulsive as well, I wasn’t going there) I’m SO happy I made feel-good choices today and that the consequences to those choices were even keeled and pleasant. Even after I chose to complain about the first meeting outcome and having to be reminded of making choices in the second meeting by having my seat taken, was actually comical to me. I enjoy catching myself in the moment and truly looking at the choices I could make. Making feel-good choices is becoming easier for me every day and I’m blessed that I chose to keep practicing. I’m not sure I could have made this story any shorter without getting my message across, so thanks for reading and I hope this has sparked your interest in becoming aware of your choices and being present in every moment. Feel free to contact me if you’d like to learn more or just want to talk more. Also leave your own choice making experiences if you’d like. ‘We are all in this together, this wonderful thing called life.’ Namaste! 2/16/2014 0 Comments 31 More days...The motto, "Take it one day at a time," seems to far reaching when you're among the majority of complaining people about the snow, the grey skies, the shoveling, the cold, the ice, etc... So what do you do? Well, you could move to an island for the rest of your life; just pack up, and go...leave the world, start a new...No? Okay, change your environment; get rid of the negative people who are always talking negative about their surroundings, their family, their lives, the weather, etc., wipe the slate clean, just don't be in their company anymore; block them from FB, don't return their calls, never again send them a seasonal card...No? As glorious as those two explanations sounds, you just can't see yourself doing them? They aren't reasonable in your current circumstance? Well, let's look at why they are in your presence to begin with...
We are spiritual beings having human experiences. This is our classroom to handle our human experiences with Love, Compassion, Forgiveness and Gratitude. So all the negativity surrounding you may just be mini lessons in handling them with positivity. You are EXACTLY where you are suppose to be! It's not easy, you say? Let's begin with our environment. If you live in NJ, like I do, you have to remember, it's one of the states that will and does have FOUR seasons, each one just as beautiful as the other. It's winter time in NJ...snow, ice, grey, and cold. ACCEPT it! Your, 'I've had enough'; 'Die snow die'; 'NOOOO, will this never end?!?' thoughts are swirling detrimental thoughts going into more detrimental thoughts of depression, more negativity, more wintertime blues, and possibly even Seasonal Affective Disorder. And because of your thoughts, you attract others with the same thoughts, then one pain body attracts another pain body, and before you know it, the only conversations you have or begin with others are negative conversations about negative thoughts. Break the cycle... There are only 31 days until the first day of Spring!!! 31 DAYS!!!!! One month!!!! It's almost over, the light at the end of the tunnel is shining!!! You can make it!!! The Little Engine that Could...'I think I can, I think I can, I think I can!' Stop your thoughts and your mouth right in their tracks before any negativity about the weather can come out and simply state, "I'm okay with the weather today." People who are not consciously thinking will attempt to argue with you and explain their reasoning on why its okay to speak negatively about the weather...stay focused, "I'm okay with the weather today." (For Me, it's; "I live in NJ, I accept this weather.") They will either change the subject to a different negative pain body or more often than not, they just leave...there goes negativity, out of the way!!! Still hard to grasp? 31 days to far away? Well... Vitamin D has been clinically researched and proven to combat a host of physical ailments like bone and muscle strength, and supporting a healthy immune system. It also is a key factor in enhancing mood and energy levels and treating Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). Increase your vitamin D levels during the winter. If you already take a Vitamin D supplement, increase it for the next 31 days. If you do not take a Vitamin D supplement, look at your food supply, (Cod liver oil, salmon, eggs, milk). Walk outside...10 minutes of unexposed sun can make a world of difference, even in the cold. There are sun lamps on the market and safe tanning beds...[Please be advised: This Note is not intended to give permission for anyone to start taking supplements or sign up at the local tanning salon just because you need Vitamin D...it's simply a resource that shows you that there is help outside of the medical field for winter time negativity. Do your own research, make some calls, visit a health food store, check out the resources at the bottom of this Note.] And... Laughter is a great way to combat negativity...rent a comedy, go see a comedian, play Pictionary with family or friends, just start laughing...laughing a day keeps the doctor away...you just feel better after your done laughing, your endorphins are released and there are moments of simple bliss. Laugh, laugh right now... :D And... Be a visual detective...actively search for beauty...Sunrises, sunsets, sunrays on trees, cloud formations, birds with beautiful colors, squirrel activity, kids playing in the snow, ice crystals on tree branches...just look for them, they are beautiful and you will be so blessed to have witnessed such beauty during the winter, beauty you do not see in any other season...winter is beautiful, even in the grey there is beauty, go find it... Or... Carry around a Rose Quartz and a Green Aventurine crystal in your bag or pocket, or place them on your desk. These crystals promote love, hope and support. They can easily remind you to affirm, "I'm okay with the weather" or remind you to laugh at that exact moment, or de-rail yourself from the negativity at that moment. We can do ANYTHING for 31 days...We can do ANYTHING for 1 day...We can do ANYTHING for 10 minutes...We just need to do SOMETHING positively. If... After you've attempted all these or some of these choices and you're still feeling the Blues...contact me...you may have a pattern that needs to be cleansed, maybe you need a Reiki Treatment to begin, maybe you just need a friendly 'chat'. Namaste my friends...Be Blessed, Be Happy, Be Loved, Be Safe! Resources: www.healingcrystals.com www.webmd.com/depression/features/seasonal-affective-disorder www.naturemade.com/resource-center/articles-and-videos/immune-health/vitamin-d-essential-for-your-good-health?gclid=CKOBqeKG0bwCFURk7AodHy8AMw www.drmercola.com/health-tips/stop-feeling-sad-during-the-holidays/ http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2005/04/02/laughter-health.aspx http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2012/09/29/sun-exposure-vitamin-d-production-benefits.aspx http://mycountdown.org/Other/Spring/ www.youtube.com/watch?v=AcYrm7h86Rk https://www.google.com/search?q=winter+beauty&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=nAEBU9yWH6Tq0AGL54DoAg&ved=0CAcQ_AUoAQ&biw=1920&bih=878 |
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